Some experiences go beyond words. They dissolve the edges of who you think you are, crack open the doors of perception, and leave you standing at the threshold of the infinite.
This was one of those journeys.
The Preparation
For three days, we fasted, sustained only by herbal tea and coconut water. It wasn’t just about cleansing the body; it was about quieting the mind, softening the ego, and making space for something greater.
Each morning began with rituals that grounded us into presence, yoga, breathwork, and the sharp clarity of ice baths. These practices stripped away resistance, peeling back the layers of protection we didn’t even know we carried. We were a small, intimate circle, strangers at first, but quickly bonded by intention and trust. We were held with such care by our facilitators, Niko and Karina. Their calm, compassionate presence was a reminder that we were safe, seen, and deeply supported.
Meeting the Medicine
When I first took the medicine, I wept.
Tears of surrender.
Tears of remembrance.
Tears of a soul reuniting with the divine.
As the medicine moved through me, something beautiful began to unfold. My heart, once armored with stories, judgments, and fears, began to soften. Walls dissolved. Barriers crumbled. And as I let go, I felt it…
Waves of energy surged through me, waves that dismantled every identity I had ever clung to. My body disappeared. Time collapsed. I was no longer separate from anything.
I became the river that merged into the vast ocean of existence.
There was no me.
No you.
No time.
No space.
Just pure, infinite being.
Everything, All At Once
In that space, I felt it all.
Love and fear.
Light and dark.
Ecstasy and ache.
Every emotion, every sensation, woven together in a tapestry of pure presence.
At one point, I sat up.
Niko looked into my eyes and asked gently, “What do you want?”
The answer arose effortlessly.
“I just want to BE.”
And in that moment, I understood the deepest truth.
The Remembering
I AM.
Not because I do.
Not because I achieve.
Not because I become.
But simply because I exist.
I am the sun and the moon.
The wind and the earth.
The ocean and every drop within it.
I am the breath, the stillness, the sound, the silence.
I am pure consciousness.
I am everything.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, tears of awe, humility, and deep, boundless gratitude.
I whispered it again and again, like a prayer:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Return
When I finally opened my eyes, I felt like a child again, light, free, laughing. The world was new. Alive. Radiant.
There was no rush.
No chase.
No need to control.
Only a deep knowing:
Everything is already perfect.
There is nothing to achieve.
Nothing to lose.
Nothing to fix.
I AM.
And that is enough
